To My Self, My Saviour

‘Younger me, wished upon a star
Wanting to fly, go so far
Sitting comfortably in a flying car
Away from my peers, to an existence so non-bizarre
Eating half-price diner caviar

Sleeping on a rocking chair
Dreaming about freedom anywhere
Singing using a microphone made of kitchenware
All this is becomes my midnight affair

A dreamland journey, seeking respect,
Something my mind can’t reject
Not anymore. I am tired
This is not the way I am wired
Need to look out for myself

Dear self, be a saviour
And stop this atrocious behaviour
I do not want to endure
Not anymore. Not anymore’

– CrystalDreamIllustration

Is it okay to be ignored or made to feel like you don’t exist?
I am not be the only person, in this world, who has experienced the feeling of loneliness. Many of you wouldn’t have realized this but maybe the person sitting next to you, on a train or bus or anywhere else, might have faced something similar, there is always a possibility of that happening. I am one of those people who feel more secure when I keep such feelings within, I haven’t shared this with anyone but today I decided to get this off my chest.

Has anyone else ever felt out of place when a friend drags you to talk to a group of people with whom you can’t even hold a conversation for longer than a minute? Well, I have been in that awkward situation, several times. Not only was that as a metaphorical slap in the face but that also made me feel bad about my communication skills.

Sadly, that doesn’t only happen when I am among unknown people or acquaintances but also when I am standing with my peers. I feel like I am a ghost with a solid body. No one listens to my ideas or opinions. My voice is like the background music to the constant jabbering of my friends.

Sitting in a lonesome corner during a party and watching everyone getting their groove on while I just keep on sipping my drink is another scenario that I can think of. I see people around me going crazy and all of a sudden I start to wonder about the possibility of me feeling like I am from another dimension.

When the people, I care about, are lying to me about something. One of the most recent ones was that they were discussing a party, they had thrown just the day before when I was hanging out with them and I had absolutely no clue when that even took place. And the worse thing was when I asked them the reason for not inviting me, they said that I didn’t pick up their phone calls (The truth: I was home all day with my phone right next to me).

When things like this started happening to me, I started to lose my trust in people. I felt like I was not good enough. Though, that was, is and will never be the truth, at all. It has been like this for quite some time for me. Now as I sit down and analyze all this I realize what kind of utter nonsense my brain had been cooking up.

As I have grown to accept it, I also have learned that I am the only one who can stop such things from happening. I, like every human being residing on this planet, have the right to feel respected. It’s natural to feel hurt and let those feelings take over my mind and heart but is it really worth it? No way in hell!

People get tied down by such negative emotions. Some say we need a saviour, that is actually not at all a bad idea, in fact, it sounds quite appealing. I would go ahead and say that I personally think its a fairy tale concept. That made me think that the idea of a saviour doesn’t always mean another person. We can be our own saviour.

We all need to remember that we are not alone. We are important individuals of the society and should never let anyone (even if it is our own self) make us feel dejected. So, let’s break these ropes tying us down and let our true selves be showcased all around the world. Don’t ever feel that you need to hide the real you. That is what I have learned and accepted. So, let’s support each other on this life-changing journey and become confident individuals.

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